The L Word
by NobleCaliber
Summary: He doesn't know what to say. She doesn't know what to say. They know he loves her and he needs to know she loves him. She needs to know the truth, but he doesn't know if it will cost his their relationship. He just knows how much he loves her. 6X01 Tag.


Seriously, it would have been criminal _not_ to.

And that episode deserves a Shawn/Jules oneshot.

Or many.

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Four seventy two. Four seventy three. Shawn didn't know his attention span was this long. Or that he could count this high. But he had stayed focused long enough to watch the ceiling fan suspended above his bed go 'round four hundred and seventy…. Now four hundred and seventy nine times.

His mattress shifts, but he's lying perfectly still. Again. Turning toward the movement, all he sees is a swish of blonde.

"Jules?" Maybe he counted a little too high. This can't be right.

"Hey, Shawn," she lays one palm on his cheek momentarily before she moves closer to him, settling in inches from where he is, head still cocked in confusion.

Although he's still unsure as to why she's shown up in his bed at… half past midnight, he lays back with her, gathering her up in his arms without a thought. He can't help but notice how natural it feels to him.

"What are you doing here?" he asks quietly, pulling her in closer still.

"I thought we should… I thought we should talk." She stiffens slightly; had he not been holding her right up against his chest, he wouldn't have felt i.

"Juliet, I-" he's supposed to be good with words. Where the hell are they when he needs them most? He doesn't know to tell her how he feels. He's not even sure _he_ knows how he feels. Damn.

"No, its okay, Shawn. Carlton was, he was angry. And you just talk, you talk without thinking about it first. I can-"

"No, you can't forget about it. And I don't want you to." He looks at her, but she won't meet his eye. Her fingers skate along the hem of the sleeve of his shirt, her eyes stubbornly following the movement.

"Shawn."

"I'm…" He sucks in a deep breath, but her body moves with him. "I'm not really psychic."

"Shawn. The polygraph said otherwise." Maybe she's always suspected. Maybe she hasn't, she doesn't really know. Jut just wants to know the truth.

"My dad taught me how to beat it, okay? He taught me how to notice minute details, how to sneak around, how to kick the taillights out of a freaking car, okay? My dad taught me all this stuff because he wanted me to be a detective machine and I was gonna go to jail if I didn't come up with a plausible story for Lassie. I break into crime scenes, I see and remember things that shouldn't matter and I'm sick and tired of lying to you about it." He loosens his grip on her a great deal. There's a good chance she'll need to clear her head, at the very least. That's also a good chance she'll walk out of his home and his life and he'll lose her when he's telling her so he can keep her forever.

"Oh my God, Shawn." Now she's taking deep breaths, his are much more shallow, panicked.

"I'm sorry," damn it, that's not good enough. "I'm so sorry," he was supposed to be letting go, allowing her to leave should she want to.

Instead of moving away, she sinks closer. "Shawn, I-" she doesn't know what to say, either. Where's the fast forward? The air was too heavy. She was too heavy. The pressure didn't even exist, but her lungs were collapsing. "So that was you in the picture, that's how you found the body, the rest was just observation."

"Yeah." He's got nothing else to say. The same pressure closes his throat and swells his tongue. He's allergic to fighting with her. Wait, is this even fighting. Maybe he's just allergic to… this.

"You break into crime scenes often?"

"Sometimes." Still. Everything is still.

"You're gonna get yourself killed, Shawn. God." The very thought makes her chest close up a little more. "Look, I just- I came here to tell you that, that even though you didn't want to talk about it, I love you too. I love you, Shawn. Even if you need to forget it for a while…"

"No. That's not it, Jules. I was just a little thrown off. You're right, I have no brain-mouth filter and even though I've known for a while that, God, Juliet, I love you so much, I wanted to tell you I wasn't psychic first so I could-"

"You were going to tell me?" When she finally turns her face up to look at him, there are tears shining in her eyes.

"Of course I was going to tell you." It's more like a promise than the truth. "I don't want to lie to you anymore. I can't." One slips from the corner of her eye and he catches it with his thumb, taking her face into his hands. God, he wants to kiss her. He loves her.

She rolls her lips between her teeth, smiling. "Shawn, I-"

"I love you, Juliet," he can't help it. He has to kiss her.

When he pulls away, she leaves her eyes closed, laying back into the pillows and sneaking just a touch closer. "I love you, Shawn. G'night."

"Night, Jules. Love you." He wraps his arms around her and settles in with her.

Her response is a sleepy _hmm_ and he thinks maybe she was out before her head hit the pillow.

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